Nish Daturkubuk-Spirelance
I knew today would be different. As I made my rounds around town, a local surgeon came to me with an urgent request: Go slay a dark woman mate. At first this seemed insane, but apparently I am the only one with an axe in town, so after thinking about the glory I would gain from this, I accepted.
Looking at the map the surgeon gave me, I notice a fortress is near the lair of this so-called night creature. Perhaps there are others who wish to join me on this quest of glory. I arrive at the fortress midday, but as I approach the fortress, a pack of wolves come from the woods, foaming at the mouth and running full speed at me, geez since when was wildlife this angry???
As I try to reach the fort for safety, a group of cows and bulls run for the entrance, probably with the same idea as I had...but they can't fit through the door and in the confusion attack me! I chop off one of their hooves out of anger then turn to face my fate-the wolves. As I swing my axe, a bull kicks me from behind, knocking me into a wolf. As we tumble, I swing my axe with
all my might and cleave its skull open. One down. As I do this, the other wolves bite and claw at me. I am bleeding bad, but now it is my turn.
Out of the angry bull's reach, I begin cleaving through the soft wolf flesh that surrounds me. One of them I decapitate and watch as it head soars 20 feet away. Once the gruesome work was done, I was bleeding and bruised all over, and knew that I had some internal injuries as well, so much for this being an easy adventure....I'm saving that wolf head as a prize. I drag my
broken body into the fortress, praying for salvation, but find nothing but fox and monkey excrement everywhere! I kill a red fox out of anger, but then settle down and make a dinner out of the fox. I always enjoyed fox meat, and with that I fell asleep.
(Day 2)
I awoke at night, and decided to set out. I remember as a child being told scary stories of the bogeyman coming at night. Bah! What a load of crap. As I moved through the forest, strange noises surrounded me, suddenly I hear the cries of animals being silenced, and before I can react some kind of creatures are chasing me through the woods! The stories are true!? Well true or not if it can bleed then it can die so I ready my axe and begin chopping them down one at a time, I found their lower body easy to "remove" so after much blood and gore I set out for my original goal, the dark woman mate.
I find her lair at dawn. Unimaginable stench emanates from the entrance, but I enter regardless. After a dark and twisting hallway, I come to a small room with a long hall jutting out from the side. At the end of the hall, there she stands. She yells something, but I don't hear it. I charge down the hall, and she charges at me. I collide into her fat, disgusting form
and with one swing, cut her body in twain. Well, that was easy.
(Day 3)
The townspeople rejoice at hearing of her death. But now every idiot for ten miles is coming to me with requests to go kill something. I finally accept a quest to go slay a naga pikeman. Should be easy and hopefully this one will actually be worth my time. This one took a little more time, but after a few swings, she too fell at my hands. This adventure business is good
business. I got chain copper leggings and a iron helm from the camp along with some decent cloth and leather goods. Even got some bronze greaves.
(Day 4)
I traded the items for a cobalt dane axe back in town, and headed off on another quest, to kill a brook troll. And for some malicious reason the people now call me Nish Spirelance the Mortality of Toes...I thought everyone would forget about how I had a disgusting toe fungus when I was younger, but it seems bullies never stop. Brook troll was easy, but in my absence the townspeople came under threat from a very serious threat. A creature with sixteen kills, living in a place called the Abyssal Tomb. Sounds lovely...and of course I am the only able one to take care of this monstrosity. I am going to look for some companions for this one. So I convinced six local idiots that "great treasures" await them if they come with me,
and they didn't ask where we were going! Hopefully this creature enjoys Nord flesh more than dwarven flesh...
(Day 5)
I left at dawn for the lair with my band of misfits and reached there around 4 o'clock, then realized I forgot to wake them up before leaving the town! I figured they could at least wake up on time, but when you hire idiots, you get idiot work. Looks like this is gonna be solo work.Dark Woman Mate, Yo Netgarnished The Dead Shadow of Burying, prepare to die. I find the beast,
and as he names off his killings, I sharpen my axe. We charge at each other, I swing my axe, but miss time after time. However, my swinging keeps the beast from striking me. Finally I score a hit! I tear open its left foot. It falters. I keep swinging and the beast uses all of its strength to dodge my strikes. In the heat of battle, I charged the beast, knocking down to its knees,
and with a disbelieving look in his eyes, I swing my axe a final time and sever its ugly head from the rest of its body.
(Day 6)
After slaying Netgarnished, I began my trip home. But as the sun set, I soon realized this quest was not over. Soon after the sunset I hear the same noises as the night before. I ready myself and start the fight with the bogeymen. Two fall to my blade before I am forced to run, and run I did. I knew an fort existed to the east so I ran that way while stopping to fight one-on-one with the bogeymen.
In one bout, I smashed one's head 3 times with a shield and sliced it with my axe, but it refused to die! Fortunately the wildlife was on my side this time, and 3 cougars attacked and killed many bogeymen, allowing me to make my escape to the fort I then slaughtered a cavy boar, and enjoyed a nice meal of prepared cavy heart and chopped liver then slept the best sleep I ever had. I was greeted by wolves in the morning, which was a nice workout, then preceded to go home. I spread the news and browsed the shops of Boyishidol. Turns out they have another dark woman mate for me to kill Pippuri Ownerhounds. I set out, but the world had different plans for me. I made it about two hours outside the town and two black bears appeared out of the woods.
I took them on, injuring one, but the other mauled me. As I tried to escape it broke my body, and tore at my legs. I then fell unconscious, into a sweet deep sleep. And so ends the tale of Nish Spirelance, Mortality of Toes.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DUGSBJR0 is the save file for the next victim...seriously, watch for them bears. Also, found out that it works well to strike bogeymen with your shield, tends to hit and scare em or hurt them bad.
