Dear Sir or Madam,
As an admirer of your product, I would like to demonstrate my commitment to it whilst promenading on the high street. Could you kindly direct me to the nearest store from whence I could purchase the following MWLL branded items of merchandise?
1. MWLL T-shirt (preferably in black, though grey marl would be a suitable alternative). Size XL, or XXL if prone to shrinkage on tumble drying.
2. Nerf Ultra Autocannon 20, and 12 UAC-20 foam projectiles of the appropriate calibre.
3. Genuine Mattel Imitation Neurohelmet - with applicable Clan decals.
4. Prima's "Official Strategy Guide to MWLL" - preferably hardcover bound in fine calf leather or alligator hide.
5. Collector's Edition King Leer action figure. (Please do open the boxes until you find the one where he is depicted brandishing a club.)
I thank you kindly and hope my enquiry meets with your urgent despatch.
Yours in anticipation,
Virt