You can get the same story from anyone in the boat.
I am aware with this, but you write amusingly, was mostly vague though.
I've known a few across the years I've been alive, I doubt you'll need their advice given there's an abundance of crap online. But if needs be (aka you want me to) I can ask them for some basic bitch advice (aka stuff you might not immediately realise even with your new manmories ((I'm quite happy with that one)).
Anyway my curiosity was sated, I mean it's not the first time I've read/been told in person the same story (I find people in general pretty darn fascinating) enough times. If you want to moan about your girdle not fitting correctly or getting a ladder in your tights fire me a PM or some shite idk w/e I'm not really bothered I'm just trying to be nice.
For the record anyone can PM me if y'all got problems, I'm a moderately intelligent person who is also unfortunately compassionate to the majority of variations of the human condition.
Pip pip cheerio.