Author Topic: "The Ridge", a rememberance  (Read 2367 times)

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Offline Stormin'

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"The Ridge", a rememberance
« on: February 07, 2009, 08:42:10 PM »
For your enjoyment and discussion...


The Ridge

by [88th]Stormin'
In honor and rememberance of the 88th Mechanized Militia



metal lumbers, one, three

the gyro's song he knows so well

pushing harder, building heat

toward our Foe, toward war and hell



at his sides his brothers stride

lancemates to the bitter end

"strength and valor!" they once cried

for honored warriors our hearts bend



rock, sway, two, four

the conflict rages in his head

o'er the Ridge explosions roar

radio silent, predators tread



aeros forward, inbound flight

on wings of black they tear the sky

flames against a starless night

shadows on smoke o'er they fly



gripping tighter, left, right

with each track grinding earth

tones resound the coming fight

soon these guns will prove their worth



radio report, come in command!

lines overrun, we cannot hold!

defend the Ridge, our orders stand

crackle, static, fate untold



ascending, climbing, throttle wide

swagger yields to frenzied gate

o'er rock and bush they glide

toward the wall tack true and straight



on rocky Ridge, silhouettes in frame

he growls his charge, comms crack alive

emerald, crimson, jets smoke and flame

searing armor, to the goal they strive



the whining tone sounds the lock

missiles incoming, evade, evade

the trees erupt, debris and rock

dancing with Death, game well-played



counter, counter, firm and swift

the dog, the cat, flash critical light

the judgement, wing's life the gift

ground bought with blood, our good knight



upon the Ridge, weary steps leaden

sight depths beyond consumed by war

mangled, twisted Armageddon

warriors' destiny for beloved Corps



the Enemy, out of smoke and ash

arms brought to bear on brothers three

from hell's abyss hot lightning's flash

duty's sacrifice, we will not flee



two stand alone against the waves

he scans the field, he counts the odds

four and four, across the graves

these metal coffins, these burning gods



he checks his wing, a moment's pause

"strength and valor, brother", last words in war

for duty, honor, code, and cause

to charge down the Ridge, and dance with Death once more.



Stormin' (a.k.a. Xtrekker/Zensai @MWO)
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www.lancecommand.com

Offline Sean Lang "Phil"

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2009, 02:22:36 AM »
I hate when I notice people have looked at my thread and not responded, so I won't do that too you again! I like it, very different, full of emotions though. Of course it is unique, I say keep on creating stuff like this. If you enjoy doing it why not, just share away!!

Offline Stormin'

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2009, 02:49:55 AM »
I hate when I notice people have looked at my thread and not responded, so I won't do that too you again! I like it, very different, full of emotions though. Of course it is unique, I say keep on creating stuff like this. If you enjoy doing it why not, just share away!!

Thanks Phelan, I appreciated that!  I'll make sure I return the favor, lol.  ;)


Stormin' (a.k.a. Xtrekker/Zensai @MWO)
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www.lancecommand.com

Offline Sean Lang "Phil"

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2009, 05:30:45 AM »
Ah not a problem bud, I recently picked up writing to help clear my mind and let my imagination flow. One thing that is helping me allot like others said is to get outside support. I've been posting on this forum and another, but I also have my buddies read up and help me clean my material to make it flow better. Actually I started going through from chapter 1-3 before I had to go for soccer practice. Just having someone on the outside reading helps allot!

So I encourage you to write something, post it and then refine it so it revolves around what you want it too be! Cya around bud!!

Offline BunkerBob

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2009, 05:35:36 AM »
I enjoyed it quite a bit myself. It was indeed a good read. I also do not enjoy seeing a high view count and only 1 original post from someone else.

Offline nano

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2009, 12:11:40 PM »
Excellent job Stormin!  Words and ideas have failed me in my attempts to write something like this.  Glad to see they came to you.  I enjoyed it.

Offline ~SJ~ Griffin

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2009, 10:12:51 PM »
very enjoyable poem, it makes the BT universe seem even more real to me

Offline Stormin'

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2009, 10:42:43 PM »
Wow, thanks for all the great remarks!  I don't normally write this kind of stuff, but I had a certain song stuck in my head right around the same time I was thinking of writing something in honor of my old unit.  The sort of rocking motion I tried to put into the lyrics are close to the timing of that song.  Also, in the second to last verse I was thinking of this screencap...just in a different environment but the same mood.  Glad you guys enjoyed it!



Stormin' (a.k.a. Xtrekker/Zensai @MWO)
Project Lead Developer
www.lancecommand.com

Offline Thanatos_23

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2009, 04:20:57 AM »
good job dude. i've written a few bt short stories myself and your doing just fine. keep it up
"As we admire some, there are those we despise. Our hatred for the Draconis Combine is simple and requires little explanation. They plumbed the depths of depravity when they murdered our families to bring us to our knees. We will never grant them mercy or expect it."

--- General Armstrong, ELH Combat Training School
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Offline Loonatic

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Re: "The Ridge", a rememberance
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2009, 06:10:37 PM »
Fascinating tempo and alliteration.  Good work for sure.  I never had a gift for poetry, just prose.  I do appreciate it though.