OMG teh funni! Love those weaponry wish lists guys. I needed a good chuckle.
In fact, it has inspired me to provide my own happy list. Not sure if it'll be on par with yours, but hopefully a few will appreciate it.
1.
Retroblaster class 3025. Instantly transforms the most heavily modded, super-powered mech into a 3025 class mech, complete with inadequate heat sinks, paper thin armor, and only enough weapons to level a strip mall, instead of a city. Available only to players over the age of 30.
2.
Roleplay Enforcer Mk III. Successful impact on an enemy will force the player to roleplay his chosen faction precisely. Clanners will be bound by bidding rules and goofy slang, Kurita forces will adhere to Bushido and text in Otaku-speak, Mercs will curse constantly and run like little girls when facing tough odds, etc.
3.
Whiney Eradicator XL. Also known as the STFU Gun. Fires a beam of shamefully bright green energy that will adhere to any enemy, making them look something like a glow-stik(tm) in a raver chick's hair. While under the effect of this energy, the pilot cannot complain about anything at all, including old-timer's bitching about the game being ruined by the clans, twitchy hyper kids blaming lag for their eradication, and power-tripping lance commanders screaming obscenities at their squad across TeamSpeak.
4.
URNAD 3000. Short for "You Are Now A Dev", this cannon will immediately imprison any enemy struck in a dark room with an unbreakable chain tethering them to an underpowered PC with 5 year-old modeling software. They are forced to remain until they learn exactly how difficult it is to create a game/mod, or until they expire from dehydration, starvation, or self-inflicted injuries.
5.
GSMs. These missiles are identical to standard LRMs with the exception that they will unerringly veer toward any teamkiller, lagger, or griefer on either side of a conflict and strike them in the cockpit...specifically in the groin. Player will then experience a RL sensation equivalent to being kicked in the scrotum by a clydesdale. Follow up with the Whiney Eradicator is encouraged.
Just some I'd love to see.
